I always say that no relationship is ever a waste of time or energy. If you really think hard I can guarantee that you've learned at least ONE lesson from each relationship that you have had with even the worst of partners.
So I was doing some reflecting on some of the big relationship lessons that I have learned that I wish I had known sooner, so why not share them with you so that you can learn before it's too late.
Although I do believe that most lessons we need to learn on our own, but I'll provide some insight anyways!
Lesson 1: You can't expect anyone else to fill the void that's missing within yourself. Everything always starts and ends with the relationship that you have with yourself. You are responsible for filling the void with the things you feel are missing.
Lesson 2: Attachment is not love. Attachment is based upon the extremes of “not enough” and “too much.” Don't let your attachment style define who you are or how you choose to love. Acknowledge, grow, and let those attachments guide you to a secure and safe place. Because love is so much more than just attachment and sometimes you can only see that clearly once you've healed & grown.
Lesson 3: You can choose to forgive, for YOU. Not for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness isn't you saying that what happened is okay by any means. I truly believe that forgiveness is how you can allow yourself to let go of some of the heaviness you've been carrying around for a long time. It's your way to set yourself free from the pain, hurt and anger.
Lesson 4: Your relationship is a reflection of you. This one is self explanatory, the energy you give is the energy you receive. If you expect your partner to be vulnerable, then you better get ready to dive in let that wall down & be vulnerable yourself. So you always want to tune in with yourself and how you're feeling, what you need more of, and what's missing so that you're able to truly create an amazing relationship with yourself so your relationships with others can thrive.
Lesson 5: You can't be afraid to be vulnerable & let down the wall you built to keep you safe. I know that you may have been hurt in the past, and no one will ever take that need to protect yourself away from you. But if you ever want to create long lasting healthy relationships, you'll eventually want to start letting someone in to see you fully, behind the mask you put on for society & the outside world. Because when you're able to be vulnerable with your partner, the intimacy between the two of you is unmatched! Trust me ; )
Of course take these lessons as you will, these are just my personal experiences and lessons I have learned throughout my wild roller coaster of relationships past and present. Relationships are hard, but honestly they're so worth it at the end of the day.
Apply now for 1:1 or couples coaching to help you navigate some of these areas more in depth!
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